Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
