I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
