I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
