So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize