I need help removing her.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
