Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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