I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize