Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
