You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
