We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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