oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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