I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
