i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
