i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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