weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
