we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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