windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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