Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the condom got lost in my hair
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
