i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
