My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
