maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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