You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
