I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
