office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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