I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
