i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize