"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
