I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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