WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
