girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
