I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
