Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
