how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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