I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize