You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
