WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
