dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
