this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
where are my eyebrows?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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