Quick, to the slutcave!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
