toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
