i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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