Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
