Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
