my room smells like sperm. sweet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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