sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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