some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
