new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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