my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
