And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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