Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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