Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
