RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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