how can u be prego again
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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