He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
