we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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