Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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