they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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