so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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