She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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