Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize