mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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