I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
