hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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